The preparations for the conference were immense. For days all of us sweated blood getting out a vast agenda, writing long papers on the innumerable ways we might hope to deceive the enemy, upon grades of operators and spheres influence, and arranging accommodation for our visitors.

One by one, having flown thousands of miles from their respective continents, the mystery men came in. For the conference we had secured the loan of the room in which the Chiefs of Staff held their meetings on nights when there was a blitz – the second largest in the basement, the biggest being that in which the War Cabinet held theirs. When the great morning came, everything and everyone was ready for the meeting round the spotless mahogany table at ten o’clock – everyone, that is, except me.

The initial cause of my non-appearance is still a mystery to me. Joan was on leave and with Joan and Charles Beatty up at Welshpool; so I was alone in the flat. I cannot recall whether I dined out or had a friend to dinner with me the preceding night. One thing is quite certain, with such an important occasion before me on the following morning. I did not go out on the tiles or get gloriously tight. And normally I was accustomed to wake up without being called at about seven o’clock. Yet, when I woke and looked at my clock, it said five past eleven.

I naturally assumed that, for some reason, the clock had stopped the previous night. Getting out of bed I walked into the sitting-room to get the right time from the electric clock there. To my horror that, too, gave the time as five past eleven.

I hurriedly shaved, scrambled into my clothes and took a taxi to the Cabinet Offices. When I walked into the Conference room it was just on a quarter to twelve. The only thing to do was to tell the truth and shame the Devil. Coming to attention I said to Johnny, ‘I’m terribly sorry, sir. I over-slept.’

He stared at me for a moment, then burst out laughing. The others followed suit and an absolute roar went up. I could not have made a more striking entrance had I planned it.

‘The Deception Planners’ pp 96-97